Scott Allen Forgiveness – Part 2
Many images come to mind when we hear the word forgiveness. In Matthew chapter 18, Peter asks Jesus the question, “How many times do we need to forgive?” I find forgiveness, in some ways, rests on the same level as the phrase “I love you.” Sometimes its meaningful and sometimes it’s what we say when we lack a healthy vocabulary. We can tell our soul mate, “I love you.” and in the same breath say how much we love the mashed potatoes we are eating. We all know what love means, but sometimes we use it carelessly.
I see forgiveness to be the same. Internally, some of us feel that we should forgive others when they offend us in traffic and still others when they don’t pay us back the money they owe us in a timely manner. We forgive others for being rude and sometimes we forgive others when they wrong us or assault us. Maybe the less egregious the action, the easier it is to forgive.
This begs the question, “what things should we forgive?” Do we need to forgive those people who are a pain in the neck or are they a necessary addition to life? Matthew 18 talks about those brothers and sisters in our community of faith who sin (Against us.) What does it mean when someone sins against us? It means that we are hurt or wounded and our trust has been broken. When we are sinned against, we see the world differently, perhaps through more guarded eyes. I think we know when we are wounded and hurt. In the church family, we operate out of an unspoken social contract. We choose to trust that we have each other’s best interests in mind. When someone breaks that trust, it calls into question the genuine nature of that community. Do we ignore it? Do we let it go? According Matthew 18, 15-18, the key to beginning the process of forgiveness is through confrontation. But confrontation is not about getting even, nor is it about making them pay for their actions. At the heart of Confrontation is the desire to love that person and to help them become more like Jesus Christ.
It’s easier to forgive a brother or sister in Christ when you don’t have to confront them. Much harder when you have to look at them face to face. Harder still if they do not show remorse for their actions. Harder still if they value stubbornness more than mutual submission. This is when forgiveness becomes difficult.
Have you been sinned against? Has a brother or sister threatened you? Assaulted you? Perhaps you have done the assaulting? Begin the process and go to them. If you are uncomfortable or if they frighten you, take one or two others along. For where two are more are gathered together in the name of Jesus Christ, God is there. Be courageous and know that you are not alone.
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Next up…How do we forgive?